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SUTTON: NASA Announces More Meaningless Space Hype

Once upon a time the world was not completely discovered. There were gaps on the map, mysteries over the horizon. It was the unknown. It was, “Here Be Dragons.”

Over time, the gaps were filled and there were no dragons to be found in them. Now it is the immense vastness of space that is one of the few unknowns remaining, and the Left is determined to write, “Here Be Aliens” in the gaps of the star charts.

Extraterrestrial life forms are the supreme beings of the Leftists’ self-hating secular religion. They aren’t so much the logical conclusion as they are the final hope for their superior, more evolved minds in a world of primitives who refuse to recognize their genius.

Surely aliens, through magic science dust, no longer have poverty or hunger. Aliens must have mastered the policies of community. Aliens don’t have disagreements with their central authorities. They don’t have religions, rednecks, or climate change deniers. One has to wonder what Leftists would do if they did encountered intelligent extraterrestrial life and they turn out to be staunch libertarians who solved all their social ills and journeyed to the stars because they rejected central authority.

Just a few weeks ago, the Guardian published an article expressing concern that we weren’t transmitting a sufficient amount of social justice to anyone out there who might be listening. Dr. Jill Stuart, whose job would not exist in a sane world (not yet anyway) because her work “focuses primarily on the politics, law, theory and governance of outer space,” is worried about the white, patriarchal, cisgendered image we’re portraying to extraterrestrials that have obviously achieved full equality. Not exactly surprising from a woman whose area of expertise is preemptive regulation. Most normal people would facepalm that somebody actually has this much time on their hands. Of course, Guardian readers aren’t normal.Guardian comments

Imagine you’re dying of dehydration in a desert, and someone finds you and declares they have a water source. Overjoyed you follow them to a riverbed. But instead of a stream or even a puddle they show you some discolored streaks of dirt where erosion took place at some point in the past. That’s basically what NASA’s announcement was.

This obsession with Mars is really inexplicable. Next time you get a chance, go work on your tan someplace warm and tropical. Dip your toes in the 85 degree water and observe the wildlife around you. Then marvel at the fact that there is a genuine “scientific” effort to explain that Mars was a life-bearing planet until climate change happened. A planet 50 million miles further away from the sun than Earth, half the size, and with an extreme arctic climate. That is, if the arctic was covered in rust instead of ice and the atmosphere was toxic.

See me after class.
See me after class.

All the hype is over water. Water is everywhere in space. Water is crucial for life, but in no way indicative of it. Comets are mostly water, for example, but no life has been found on any. Water in one place, eggs in another, and flour in yet another is not proof of a cake. Especially a cake with millions of ingredients and steps. But show a couple erosion marks on the red planet and suddenly it’s a sign from Go… err, aliens.

About every three months or so the news will come out with some new exciting news from space and it’ll have an earth-shattering headline. A new “earth-like” exoplanet or something about one of Saturn’s moons. But get to the third paragraph or so and you’ll find that the latest discovery is about as fascinating as learning that dry heat makes toast out of bread.

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About John Sutton

Married father of three. 5 C's. Particularly concerned with matters pertaining to the 1st, 2nd, 4th, and 10th Amendments.

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