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Wonkette’s Defense of Murder Hilariously Invokes a Monty Python Song

The Doktor Zoom fan club prepares for another hilarious defense of murder
The Doktor Zoom fan club prepares for another hilarious defense of murder

Paul Gordon Collier– Doktor Zoom defends murder like no one has ever done before, with comedy and class.

Are you tired of the same old morality being crammed down your throat?  Do the purists who cry against murder just make you feel like you’re trapped in an old “Leave it to Beaver” episode, where, yet again, no one murders anyone and no one will even dare defend your right to kill?

Then have WE found a place for you!

Doktor Zoom!

Doktor Zoom of Wonkette has artfully illustrated how to go after those pesky politicians who pass laws defending life:

Gosh, is there anything that could be more awful about Wisconsin’s new abortion bill? How about a provision giving men the right to sue doctors for “emotional and psychological distress” when their precious genetic material is cruelly aborted after 20 weeks? Yep, that’s pretty sucky. Wouldn’t it be enough just to give the guy a copy of the mandatory ultrasound, since those pictures are such joyous occasions?

The really great thing about Doktor Zoom is not only does the good doktor comically defend your right to murder, this doktor even knocks down another tired, old convention, that babies are good.  Who the hell would want to see a picture of a baby inside a womb?  That’s like looking at “precious genetic material”, which probably looks like pre-chewed food.  I wouldn’t know.  I would never look at “precious babies”.

The headline for Doktor Zoom’s witty defense of murder really drove home just how stale and old I am by clinging on to those old fashioned notions that ‘murder is bad’:

Wisconsin Abortion Bill Lets Sad Daddies Sue If Their Sacred Sperm Is Wasted

Wow, that pretty much convinced me that life is bad and murder is good. AND the doktor worked in a Monty Python reference to defend murder.  Yay!  Thank you, oh non-defined essence of chance for raising up such a fine murder apologist as Doktor Zoom, who, I might add, demonstrated tremendous courage in using his/her actual real name, Doktor Zoom.

I always suspected that a 20-week old fetus inside a woman’s womb was really nothing more than a bag of sperm, or, as Doktor Zoom so beautifully described it, “precious genetic material.”

Now wait a second, hold on.  If the fetus is just a bag of sperm, then wouldn’t that be sexist, reducing the role the woman made in creating something?  Never mind, let’s stay focused on defending murder.

In all seriousness, Doktor Zoom has been placed in the unenviable position of defending murder.  For him/her not to do so would undermine the very notion that all human life is sacred, something a progressive could not accept or tolerate and still hold on to their ‘useful life’ worldview.  It would also halt the ongoing genocidal efforts of progressive matriarch, Margaret Sanger.

Whenever I have a bad day, I’ll think about poor Doktor Zoom having to sit in front of a computer screen and, once again, having to defend murdering babies.  May God have mercy on his/her depraved, murderous soul.  I hope he/she gets a lot of Soros coin for his/her work.  I’d reckon 30 pieces of silver would do.

Paul Gordon Collier is the co-founder and current editor of and the local newspaper, Tioga Freedomist.

What other hilarious ways can we defend murder?  What other outmoded morality can we jettison?  Be sure to leave your opinions below.  And share, do share this excellent example of murder apologetics by Doktor Zoom for your friends on Facebook and Twitter to learn.

About Paul Gordon Collier

Paul Gordon Collier is the co-founder and Editor of, and our first people-powered print and digital newspaper, He is also the media director for Kross Publishing, a web publishing/marketing company.

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